Lessons From our Setbacks

by Chris Widener

You know, you can learn a lot from observing successful people, both in their victories as well as their setbacks. A couple of weeks ago, I observed one of my closest friends suffer a major setback and I learned again about vision, tenacity, graciousness and class.

Many of you who have been subscribers for a while know that one of my long-time friends ran for Governor of Washington State in 2004 and won – twice! He won the first count and then there was a machine recount – which he won. Then the other side paid for a hand recount and after that recount my friend had lost the closest Gubernatorial election in United States history: 129 votes.

So my friend and the party he belongs to sued to have the courts look at the election. After a two week trial, the judge announced his findings. My friend was in our home as we watched the live proceedings and the judge told the state his decision: Even though there were 13 times as many illegal votes cast as the margin of victory, there was not sufficient proof available that those votes would have changed the election and thus the case was thrown out.

Here is what I learned about successful people and about my friend over the last year and a half. When he started his campaign, he had three percent name recognition. There hadn't been a person elected Governor from his party in over two decades!

Lesson: Have vision. Dream big. Don't let the naysayers get to you.

Just after he learned that he lost his case, he met personally with the Vice-President of the United Sates, who encouraged him to remain active. "I'm not going anywhere," my friend replied. He'll be back. In fact, most people don't know that he lost his first election in 1992 and came back four years later to win against his previous opponent.

Lesson: Don't give up – be tenacious. Come back and win the next time.

Over the course of that day, most people advised him to appeal to the Supreme Court, but he decided against it. It was time to let the state move forward under his opponent's leadership.

Lesson: Be gracious. There is a time to bow out. Know when it is. Don't be mad or take shots.

During his press conference, he made sure to recognize the counsel for his opponent, who just days before lost her father. Yet she still did her job and honored her father by doing so. My friend recognized her loss and the job she did in the face of it. He offered his prayers and support to her family.

Lesson. Have class. There are things more important than winning. People matter and we should treat them right no matter what.

So, for my friend, that day was a hard one. But even in the midst of a setback you can see that there is a way to handle it properly and can see the future as bright. I saw that in my friend, and it made me proud to know him and others like him.

We can all learn lessons from our setbacks. When life deals you something that is less than what you hoped for, learn to live with vision, tenacity, graciousness and class. And when you win the next time, you will be a much better person for how you lost the last time.