Wednesday, February 29, 2012
A women in the grocery department of a supermarket bent down to pick up some tomatoes. At that moment, she felt a sharp pain shooting down her back; she became immobilised and let out a shriek.
A shopper standing next to her leaned over knowingly and said, "If you think tomatoes are bad, you should see the price of fish!"
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Yesterday, we all worked and laughed and had fun at work. The office was a little quiet since some of us were attending the AOG conference at the Perth International Convention Centre.
Today everyone came back to work to the news that our colleague has passed away.
He was 32.
He was planning to get married this Saturday.
He collapsed and died at home late last night.
No, he didn't smoke and he's fit as a fiddle.
Stop taking the person beside you for granted. Especially your loved ones.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Heavy smoke from a bushfire in the South West has travelled as far north as Geraldton as firefighters continue to battle the blaze near Northcliffe, which began during a lightning storm more than a week ago.
Air quality readings for particles in the air reported by the Department of Environment and Conservation have revealed the level of PM10, or coarse particles, peaked at 89.5 micrograms per cubic metre on Tuesday.
Australia's national environmental protection measure is 50 micrograms per cubic metre.
A Department of Health spokesman said the average levels were high enough to be unhealthy but not hazardous to the general population.
"Most people manage their exposure quite well by staying inside or going to enclosed places such as shopping centres to get away from the smoke," he said.
Director of the Lung Institute of WA Professor Philip Thompson said people with respiratory illness, including asthma, emphysema, bronchitis and cystic fibrosis, would be most at risk this week and should be on alert for any changes in symptoms.
Perth air is typically among the cleanest on the planet with PM10 levels usually averaging 13, the World Health Organisation reported.
Weather Bureau spokesman Neil Bennett said winds blowing from the south had pushed smoke as far north as Geraldton and a variety of weather conditions had created an "inversion" which trapped the haze close to the ground longer than usual.
"Instead of the temperatures cooling with height, they are actually warming with height," Mr Bennett said.
"The inversion prevents the air from rising vertically - it traps it."
He said Perth residents could expect thick haze again today but it was expected to clear by Saturday with the arrival of a cold front across the southern half of the State.
The Northcliffe blaze has been contained. It has burnt about 24,000ha but has not destroyed any homes.
About 90 firefighters are working to protect the communities of Windy Harbour, Northcliffe, Camfield, surrounding rural areas and recreational parks.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
It was my 30th birthday and I wasn't feeling too great when I woke up that morning.
I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me.
She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone "Happy Birthday."
I figured, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember." The children came down to breakfast and didn't say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday."
I felt a little better - at least someone had remembered.
I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "That's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go.
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment, she smiled at me and said, "If you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."
Mad at my wife for forgetting about my birthday, not to mention that Janet was quite beautiful, I felt justified in staying. "Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a few minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.
They were all singing Happy Birthday... and there I sat on the couch... naked.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," statement but followed it up with several remarks to the other astronauts and Mission Control.
Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut.
However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
On July 5, 1995 in Tampa, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
Armstrong explained, "When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. My friend hit a fly ball that landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. My neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"