Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Google Celebrates Malaysia's Independence Day!

 
 
Google celebrates Malaysia's Independence Day with a Doodle

Happy Independence Day Malaysia


Today, August 31, 2011, Malaysia celebrates the 54th anniversary of its independence from the British in 1957. And who else better to remind us of this wonderful day than our famous singing lawyer and probably Malaysia's best artist by far, the late Sudirman.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Humour


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Monday, August 29, 2011

Indian Stuntman Audition


First of all, most Indian movies have train scenes. Now I know where they find their dare devil stuntmen!

Life in the Australian Army

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad…for those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland.
 


Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though,  but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water  and even a light to see what ya doing! 

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they come in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. 

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Susan

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Resume Bloopers

This one came courtesy of a good friend.







-- "I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success."

-- "I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer."

-- "Hobbies: enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians."

-- "2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people."

-- "Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail."

-- "Objective: Career on the Information Supper Highway."

-- "Experience: Stalking, shipping & receiving"

-- "I am great with the pubic."

-- "My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers."

-- "Revolved customer problems and inquiries."

-- "Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts."

-- "Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget."

-- "Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement."

-- "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

-- "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

-- "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

-- "It’s best for employers that I not work with people."

-- "I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness."

-- "Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve."

-- "I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose 'eject child' from the special menu.)"

-- "Reason for leaving: Terminated after saying, 'It would be a blessing to be fired.'"

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

An Easy Way to Find Airfares on the Web

At first I wanted to call this post, How to Find the Best Airfares on the Web. But after going through the process, I realised that Hipmunk onl works with one online travel agency. So it might or might not give you the best price. So I changed the blog title to reflect this.

The worst part about going for a vacation is finding the cheapest or the most affordable airline. Well, dont fret anymore. Check out Hipmunk.

Just key in your destination and travel dates and let the Munk find the best flights for you. In my case, it was going home to Kuala Lumpur from Perth during Christmas.



You then pick on the flights that you want for the going and return trip and then Hipmunk redirects your purchase to Orbitz for payment. So I guess this only works for Orbitz prices. Other airlines might be cheaper.


How Peanut Butter is Made

 
 
 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Humour


Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

Sunday, August 21, 2011

How to Easily Get Viruses from Facebook

I didn't realise it was so easy to get viruses from Facebook but today I faced a possible virus infection from Facebook.

It all started out with a chat from someone who, although I know, I never chatted before on Facebook. So I replied to him but his reply sounded suspicious. And then a link appeared.

Normally I would caution you not to click on any links but since I knew this was a valid website, I clicked on the link.




It then took me to YouTube looking page with my name on it and when I scrolled down, a list of comments from some of my friends and some unknown people. I assumed these were names of people who were gullible enough to click on the Download it from Adobe link.

First note of a fake website - check the URL (see item in yellow). It points to a number. That is wrong. It should be www.youtube.com. Even if the URL looks similar to Youtube, always check carefully. I saw a similar website with the title www.youtubes.com  <-- note the extra S in youtubes. Be aware.



When you put your mouse over the Download it from Adobe, see the target URL below (follow Red arrow). The filename shows Flash-Player.exe but the source of the file is from a fake website.

Never download EXE files from unknown websites, even if they were sent to you by your friends.




For your information, the fake website resides in Hungary, see information below.


% APNIC found the following authoritative answer from: whois.ripe.net
% This is the RIPE Database query service.
% The objects are in RPSL format.
%
% The RIPE Database is subject to Terms and Conditions.
% See http://www.ripe.net/db/support/db-terms-conditions.pdf
% Note: this output has been filtered.
%       To receive output for a database update, use the "-B" flag.
% Information related to '188.36.0.0 - 188.36.119.255'
inetnum:        188.36.0.0 - 188.36.119.255
netname:        T-HOME-CATV
descr:          T-HOME broadband customers dynamic address pool
country:        hu
admin-c:        bat3-ripe
tech-c:         bat3-ripe
status:         assigned pa
remarks:        infra-aw
mnt-by:         tcom-mnt
source:         RIPE # Filtered
person:         Attila Balogh
address:        Magyar Telecom
address:        R&D Directorate
address:        Magyar Tudosok korutja 9.
address:        Budapest
address:        H-1117 Hungary
phone:          +36 1 481 7406
fax-no:         +36 1 481 7455
e-mail:         bat@netadmin.hu
nic-hdl:        BAT3-RIPE
mnt-by: tcom-mnt
source:         RIPE # Filtered
% Information related to '188.36.0.0/16as5483'
route:          188.36.0.0/16
descr:          Hungarian Telekom
origin:         as5483
mnt-by:         tcom-mnt
source:         ripe # Filtered




188.36.108.214 - Geo Information
IP Address 188.36.108.214
Host - BC246CD6.dsl.pool.telekom.hu
Location -  HU, Hungary
City - Budapest,
05 - Organization - T-HOME broadband customers dynamic address pool
ISP - Magyar Telekom plc.
AS Number - AS5483 Magyar Telekom plc.
Latitude - 47°50'00" North
Longitude - 19°08'33" East
Distance - 630.06 km (391.50 miles)

Who's Your Limo Driver?

Archbishop Murphy Pakiam (the Catholic Archbishop of Malaysia) was returning to Kuala Lumpur after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived, there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Bukit Nanas. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know" he said, "I am almost 50 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?" The driver said, "No problem. Have a go at it."

Archbishop Pakiam gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie Traffic Police operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 140 in a 110 km/h zone. The police office pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young officer walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.

He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."

The supervisor asked, "Is it the Prime Minister?"

The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."

The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the King?"

The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."

The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"

The young trooper said, I think it's Jesus because he's got Archbishop Murphy Pakiam for a chauffeur!!


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Effective Diet Quote...



I have a great diet. 
You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.

- Ed Bluestone

The Bridge in the Middle


The bridge connecting the left and right tower of the Petronas Twin Towers. This was the closest my little, but faithful Sony TX7 could get to this structure.
Posted by Picasa

Friday, August 19, 2011

What distinguishes a Grandmaster from a master?

 

"What distinguishes a Grandmaster from a master? Chess-lovers often ask questions like that. To many people it seems that Grandmasters simply calculate variations a little deeper. Or that they know their opening theory slightly better. But in fact the real difference is something else. You can pick out two essential qualities in which those with higher titles are superior to others: the ability to sense the critical moment in a game, and a finer understanding of various positional problems."


— Yusupov, in Opening Preparation

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Like I've Been Talking to a Wall

 
The following story was mentioned by a seasoned ANSYS user when explaining a concept, for the third time, to a new comer. It's simply amazing how you find engineers who cant explain their problem properly when asking for help in forums? Sometimes the act of simply writing down clearly ones problem is enough to provide an insight to its solutions. And a simple Free Body Diagram (FBD) helps. But I come across a lot of engineers who dont bother to Read The Fucking Manual (RTFM) but jump onto the forums to ask for help. What ever happened to the age old belief of doing one's homework before asking for help?
 
 
A tourist was visiting Jerusalem and found himself near the Western Wall, crowded with people saying prayers. The guide pointed to an old man standing with his forehead against the stonework, praying aloud for peace between Israelis and Palestinians. 'You see that old man?  
I've been a guide here for 25 years, and every single day of that time he's been here praying for one thing--peace. Nothing for himself, no victory, no taking sides, just that the shooting should stop.'
 
Eventually the old man ended his prayers and began to walk away, so the tourist stepped up and asked whether it was true that he'd prayed here daily all that time for nothing but peace. The old man just nodded, so the tourist asked him, 'How does it feel after all these years of prayer and the guns still firing?' The old man looked up and replied 'How does it feel? Oy, like I've been talking to a wall!'
 
 
 
 

Humour


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:

'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Friday, August 12, 2011

How O'Malley got into the 2012 London Olympics

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they
haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and
walks to the gate.

"McTavish, Scotland," he says, "Discus" and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.

"Waddington-Smith , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks
it under his arm.

"O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Humour


Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Wednesday Night Chess



This is my battle ground every Wednesday night at Woodvale. 

Last night I had an easy win when my opponent didnt turn up.


How the Northern Lights Look From Space


We're used to seeing the Northern lights from below. But this is how it looks from space. Simply beautiful isn't it.

Our planet is a beautiful creation. Too bad most of us are so preoccupied with eking a living that we fail to see the beauty of Mother Nature.

See more pictures here.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011