Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Body Guard Audition

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Here are some potential body guards. You pick!


Oh Gorilla!

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Michael Jackson: What You Didn't Know About Him

039_30399michael-jackson-posters

The man thrilled the whole world. It didn't matter if you were black, white, pink or purple - he charmed us all. Here are some things to remember him by. And the conspiracy…


Michael Jackson's Number 1 Hit Singles

1. I Want You Back : 1970

2. ABC : 1970

3. The Love You Save : 1970

4. I'll Be There : 1970

5. Ben : 1972

6. Don't Stop Till You Get Enough : 1979

7. Rock With You : 1979

8. Say Say Say : 1983

9. Billie Jean : 1983

10. Beat It : 1983

11. Thriller : 1984

12. I Just Cant Stop Loving You : 1986

13. The Way You Make Me Feel : 1987

14. Bad : 1987

15. Man In The Mirror : 1988

16. Dirty Diana : 1988

17. Black or White: 1991


thriller-michael-jackson

Thriller was MJ's best selling album of all time, an estimated of 60 - 65 million copies were sold world wide and it is ranked number 20 on Rolling Stone magazines 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.



Michael_jackson_bad_cd_cover_1987_cdda

What you might have not know is that BAD is the second biggest selling album of all time. It was the only album in history to have 5 number one hit singles and it was the number one in 25 countries, including Norway, Portugal, Greece and New Zealand. An estimated of 4 million people saw the BAD tour (see crowd below at Liverpool concert).

Michael_jackson_bad_tour_liverpool_concert_1988


we are the world

Michael Jackson co-wrote We Are the World which became the number best selling single of all time.



mj_family

Michael Jackson grew up with eight brothers and sisters. He is the third youngest (then comes Randy and Janet). As a kid, Michael shared a triple bunk bed with his four older brothers. Tito and Jermaine were on top, Michael and Marlon were in the middle, and Jackie (the oldest) was on the bottom.


Also, when he was young, he liked to hide spiders in his sister La Toya’s bed.


Did you know that the Caribbean island of Saint Vincent issued Michael Jackson postage stamps?

StVincent894-901


Michael was also a serious reader. When he was a teenager, some of his favourite books were Rip Van Winkle by Washington Irving, Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, and The Old Man and the Sea by Earnest Hemingway. “If you cant afford to travel,” Michael said, ”you can travel mentally through books.”


Michael also likes to draw. Some of his artwork appeared on the liner sleeves of Thriller. HIs drawing of Mickey Mouse is included in a book called the The Art of Mickey Mouse.


The first single Michael Jackson ever bought was “Mickey’s Monkey” by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles.


When Michael first began performing with his brothers, he earned USD$20 a week, which he usually spent buying candy for neighborhood kids.


Michael’s hit ballad, Ben, was about a rat. Michael now owns a boa constrictor named Muscles which eats one live rat a week. Sorry Ben!



neverland_boy_sculpture


Michael’s Neverland Valley in California totals 2700 acres – more than four square miles.


neverlandmap


Some of the best rides on Michael’s private amusement park are a carousel, a Ferris wheel and a roller coaster.


Gallery Neverland 3


Michael rides a golf cart around his property. He also own a Ford Bronco and a Rolls Royce limousine.


Michael was 11 years old when he first sang on television with the Jackson 5 – for the 1969 Miss Black America Beauty Pageant. This was the same year Michael had his first number one record with the Jackson 5, “I Want You Back.”


three_stooges


Michael was a big fan of The Three Stooges. He once wrote an introduction for a book about Jerome Howard, who played Curly.


Michael once said his voice on the early Jackson 5 songs sounded like "Minnie Mouse.”


Michael wrote the song “The Girl is Mine” with Paul McCartney while watching cartoons.


Michael’s favourite Disneyland ride is Pirates of the Caribbean. When he lived with this parents, Michael built a replica of Main Street. That estate also included a soda fountain and a 6-foot exhibit of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.


mj-star


Michael Jackson has two stars on Hollywood Walk of Fame. One for the Jackson 5 and one for him, which is located directly in front of the landmark Mann’s Chinese Theather.


Michael Jackson acted in two movies – one as a scarecrow in The Wiz (a version of The Wizard of Oz), and as Captain EO in Disneyland’s 3D movie. He also guest starred on the TV series, “Welcome Back, Kotter.”


dangeroustour1dangeroustour2


Michael’s concert tour for his last album, Dangerous, was probably the biggest stage show ever – it required 51 large trucks just to haul all the stuff around.


moon walk book by michael jackson


Read about Michael’s life in his own words in his autobiography, Moon Walk.


mj-conspiracy


What really happened to Michael Jackson? Was it really a conspiracy?


michael jackson 25 year calendar


Michael Jackson Official Calendar 2009: Thriller 25th Anniversary Special Edition (Multilingual Edition)


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Live Test

This is a live test.

 

Humpback Whale

Friday, June 26, 2009

Mental Age Assessment

                                             Mental Age Assessment

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you
can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10 This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha' you cannot resist passing it on.


Thursday, June 25, 2009

I am fine!

------------------------------------
I am Just Fine
-------------------------------------

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.

Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded.

"Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning.

I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now what the hell would you say?"

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Beat this for a Baptism

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Just imagine the impact to the head!


The Idiot Went to Heaven

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is
now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of
people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question
which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another
snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"
The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The
Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a
very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole."

 The idiot went to Heaven.


Friday, June 12, 2009

A Lesson This Kid Will Never Forget

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This is a lesson this stupid kid deserves and I bet he will never forget.

Moral of story: It doesnt pay to be stupid!


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Recession Updates

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off

2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate

3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.

4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money

5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.

6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America's third biggest lender.

7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
A: In a few weeks, nothing.

9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".

10. Quote from a Wall Street banker:
This is worse than divorce. I've lost half of my assets and I still have my wife…!!!!

4 Stages of Life




4 stages of human life...

 

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Airplane Tooo Close For Comfort?



 

Indian Rail Electrocution

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What's Being British Really Is?

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers: "What does it mean to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland ...

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture & watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign."