What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!'
What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
A little boy went up to his father and asked,
'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied,
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'
Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying,
'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day,
'If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!'