My wife asked ..... And then the fight started

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the T bone steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" 

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...