Malaysian Humour

One fine day, Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong visited India to meet their PM to negotiate trade terms. During the lunch break the Prime Minister of India suggested taking PM Goh for a spin in his helicopter and view India's city lifestyle. 

As PM Goh was enjoying the bird's eye view from above, he noticed an overpopulated village with unhygienic living conditions. A man was even shitting in his backyard. PM Goh was fast to comment how unsightly it is and that India's people are so uncivilised. India's PM was so humiliated and vowed to himself that he'll humiliate PM Goh when he gets to visit S'pore. 

When he really did visit S'pore the following month, PM Goh too offered him a ride in his helicopter to see the Singaporean lifestyle. For a whole hour, India's PM was trying to spot a fault. Finally he saw a place where people lit erally littered the streets, and as he had a closer look, he even noticed a man shitting on the grass verge. He quickly pointed out to PM Goh about it and said, "You said Singapore was nothing like India. How do you account for this?" 

PM Goh looked closer, smiled and replied "Aaahhh.. we called that place - Little India". 

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Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"? You know, that very little 600 cc car ??? 

Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA. 

After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, You know, I think this 'Kernchill' is too small for us Americans." 

Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America". 

Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia. 

The next day he called the number and a lady answered, " TOYS R US",Can I help you" 

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Mr. Samy-vellu went for the recent United Nations' Meeting. He represented the Malaysian Prime Minister. 

All nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2015. Here are some of the conversations: 

China Delegate : "By the year 2003, China will start their moon exploration project." 

Russian Delegate : "We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon." 

George Bush: "We the United States will also explore the moon for the second time." 

Malaysian Delegate: "By the year 2015, Malaysia will explore the sun." 

There was a long silence. 

Bush stood up and asked the Malaysian Delegate: "Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?" 

Samy Vellu (after a long silence):"We will do it in the evening."

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There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese and Indian. 

The Malays have the political power and so they set up the party UMNO, which literally means "U Must Not Object". 

The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means "Money Conquers All". 

Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask: "Must I Come?"