* At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security and how to get around it.
* At a football game, the Real Programmer is the one comparing the plays against his simulations printed on 11 by 14 fanfold paper.
* At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing flowcharts in the sand.
* At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "Poor George. And he almost had the sort routine working before the coronary."
* In a grocery store, the Real Programmer is the one who insists on running the cans past the laser checkout scanner himself, because he never could trust keypunch operators to get it right the first time.