Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Actual Product Warnings

Various lists of supposedly “real” product warnings have been going around for a long time, and we’ve all seen enough with our own eyes on step ladders and knife sharpeners to find these believable.

 
On a Sears hairdryer:

...Do not use while sleeping.

(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

 

On a bag of Fritos:

...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

 

On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be???....)

 

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's just a suggestion.)

 

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

 

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

 

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what?)

 

On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

 

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

 

On a child's superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

 

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Was there really a lot of this happening somewhere?)



No comments: