I guess men will always be men. This little boy sure isnt paying attention to his picture on the camera...
Monday, June 25, 2007
Men will always be men!
I guess men will always be men. This little boy sure isnt paying attention to his picture on the camera...
Warren Buffet's Take on Success
There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second
richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very
interesting aspects of his life:
1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha,
which he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has
everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies.
He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals
for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any
of your share holder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time
after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch Television.
8. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only
5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with
Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But
when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates
became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
His advice to young people: "Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself and
Remember:
A. Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money.
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don't do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good.
D. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which u feel comfortable.
E. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really in need rather.
F. After all it's your life then why gives chance to others to rule our life."
Technorati Tags: waren buffett, success, investing, life
richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very
interesting aspects of his life:
1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha,
which he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has
everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies.
He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals
for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any
of your share holder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time
after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch Television.
8. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only
5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with
Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But
when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates
became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
His advice to young people: "Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself and
Remember:
A. Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money.
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don't do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good.
D. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which u feel comfortable.
E. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really in need rather.
F. After all it's your life then why gives chance to others to rule our life."
Technorati Tags: waren buffett, success, investing, life
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You'e Never Alone
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
When the last scene of his life flashed before him he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
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Why Drink Coconut Water?
Coconut water is naturally:
- Low in Carbs
- 99% Fat Free
- Low in sugars
- Keep the body cool and at the proper temperature
- Orally re-hydrate your body,
- It is an all natural isotonic beverage
- Carry nutrients and oxygen to cells
- Naturally replenish your body's fluids after exercising
- Raise your metabolism
- Promote weight loss
- Boost your immune system
- Detoxify and fight viruses
- Cleanse your digestive tract
- Control diabetes
- Aid your body in fighting viruses that cause the flu, herpes, and AIDS
- Balance your PH and reduce risk of cancer
- Treat kidney and urethral stones
- Boost poor circulation
Coconut water Information complied by John Kohler
The
English name coconut, first mentioned in English print in 1555, comes
from Spanish and Portugese word coco, which means 'monkey face.'
Spanish and Portugese explorers found a resemblance to a monkey's face
in the three round indented markings or 'eyes' found at the base of the
coconut.
On the Nicobar Islands of the Indian Ocean, whole coconuts
were used as currency for the purchase of goods until the early part of
the twentieth century.
Coconuts are the fruit of the coconut
palm, botanically known as cocos nucifera, with nucifera meaning
'nut-bearing.' The fruit-bearing palms are native to Malaysia,
Polynesia and southern Asia, and are now also prolific in South
America, India , the Pacific Islands , Hawaii and Florida. The light,
fibrous husk allowed it to easily drift on the oceans to other areas to
propagate. In Sanskrit, the coconut palm is known as kalpa
vriksha, meaning 'tree which gives all that is necessary for living,'
since nearly all parts of the tree can be used in some
manner or another.
The coconut itself has many food uses, including milk, meat, sugar
and oil as well as functioning as its own dish and cup. The husk was
also burned for fuel by natives, but today a seed fibre called coir is
taken from the husk and used to make brushes, mats, fishnets, and rope.
A very potent fermented toddy or drink is also made from the coconut
palm's sap. Coconut oil, a saturated fat made from dried coconut meat,
is used for commercial frying and in candies and margarines, as well as
in non-edible products such as soaps and cosmetics.
Although it takes up to a year for coconuts to mature, the
trees bloom up to thirteen times a year, so fruit is constantly forming
yielding a continuous harvest year-round. An average harvest from one
tree runs about 60 coconuts, with some trees yielding three times that
amount.
The coconut's name is a bit of a misnomer, since it is
botanically classified as a drupe and not a nut. It is the largest seed
known. If you've ever opened a fresh coconut, you will have
seen the
thin, opaque almost clear coconut juice or water which has a slight
almond flavor. Contrary to popular belief, this is not the coconut
milk. However, the water is consumed as a drink fresh from the coconut
by many, and it can also be used in recipes.
Here is some information about Coconut Water:
'It's
a natural isotonic beverage, with the same level of electrolytic
balance as we have in our blood. It's the fluid of life, so to speak.'
In fact, during the Pacific War of 1941-45, both sides in the conflict
regularly used coconut water - siphoned directly from the nut - to give
emergency plasma transfusions to wounded soldiers. Most coconut water
is still consumed fresh in tropical coastal areas - once exposed to
air, the liquid rapidly loses most of its organoleptic and nutritional
characteristics, and begins to ferment.
- Coconut Water is More Nutritious than whole milk - Less fat and NO cholesterol!
- Coconut Water is More Healthy than Orange Juice - Much lower calories
- Coconut Water is Better than processed baby milk- It contains lauric acid, which is present in human mother's milk
- Coconut water is naturally sterile -- Water permeates though the filtering husk!
- Coconut water is a universal donor-- Its identical to human blood plasma
- Coconut Water is a Natural Isotonic Beverage - The same level we have in our blood.
- Coconut water has saved lives in 3rd world countries thru Coconut IV.
water is the very stuff of Nature, biologically Pure, full of Natural
Sugars, Salts, and Vitamins to ward off fatigue... and is the next wave
of energy drinks BUT natural!', according to Mortin Satin, Chief of the
United Nation's Food & Agriculture Organization. Coconut water
contains more potassium (at about 294 mg) than most sports drinks (117
mg) and most energy drinks. Coconut water has less sodium (25mg) where
sports drinks have around 41mg and energy drinks have about 200 mg!
Coconut water has 5mg of Natural Sugars where sports and energy drinks
range from 10-25mg of Altered Sugars. Coconut water is very high in
Chloride at 118mg, compared to sports drinks at about 39mg.
(Data is based on a 100ml drink.).
Technorati Tags: coconut wate, benefits, low sugar
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Saturday, June 23, 2007
Flock
Have you tried the new browser, Flock?
I just tried it today and it looks just like Firefox but it doesnt consume as much memory as Firefox does on my WinXP SP2. And it integrates very well with Flickr. So far, so good!
I just tried it today and it looks just like Firefox but it doesnt consume as much memory as Firefox does on my WinXP SP2. And it integrates very well with Flickr. So far, so good!
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Friday, June 22, 2007
Joke: Nuclear Power & Shit
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know', said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?'
'OK', she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass - the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know', said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?'
'OK', she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass - the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
Ten ways to murder creativity, leadership, growth and development, innovation and motivation
Again not a story, instead a sardonic view of the way that organizations typically approach managing people and projects, which of course kills the creative incentive and capabilities of creative people. Do you recognize the model?
1. Always pretend to know more than everybody around you.
2. Get employees to fill in time sheets.
3. Run daily checks on progress of everyone's work.
4. Ensure that highly qualified people do mundane work for long periods.
5. Put barriers up between departments.
6. Don't speak personally to employees, except when announcing increased targets, shortened deadlines and tightened cost restraints.
7. Ask for a 200-page document to justify every new idea.
8. Call lots of meetings.
9. Place the biggest emphasis on the budget.
10. Buy lots of computers or not buying at all.
1. Always pretend to know more than everybody around you.
2. Get employees to fill in time sheets.
3. Run daily checks on progress of everyone's work.
4. Ensure that highly qualified people do mundane work for long periods.
5. Put barriers up between departments.
6. Don't speak personally to employees, except when announcing increased targets, shortened deadlines and tightened cost restraints.
7. Ask for a 200-page document to justify every new idea.
8. Call lots of meetings.
9. Place the biggest emphasis on the budget.
10. Buy lots of computers or not buying at all.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Really Good Jokes
DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn
into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !
HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of
his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...
RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get
fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1
tea-spoon of starch!
ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,
and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"
HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a
baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."
VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Think & Create
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn
into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !
HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of
his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...
RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get
fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1
tea-spoon of starch!
ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,
and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"
HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a
baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."
VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Think & Create
Monday, May 28, 2007
Monday Jokes
Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...
~~~~~~
Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
SITUATORY WARNING:
Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside.
~~~~~~
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~
Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
~~~~~~~~
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
~~~~~~~~
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
Married MEN Not Allowed.
We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...
~~~~~~
Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
SITUATORY WARNING:
Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside.
~~~~~~
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~
Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?
~~~~~~
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
~~~~~~~~
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
~~~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
~~~~~~~~
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
English Signboards Around the World
English Signboards around the world
In a Bangkok temple: "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN."
Cocktail lounge, Norway: "LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."
Doctors office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."
Dry cleaners, Bangkok: "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."
In a Nairobi restaurant: "CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
On an Athi River highway:this is the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi. "TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."
On a poster at Kencom: "ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."
In a city restaurant: "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."
In a cemetery: "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED."
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."
In a Tokyo bar: "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."
Hotel in Yugoslavia: "THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
Hotel, Japan: "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Hotel, Zurich: "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE
BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."
In a Swiss mountain inn: "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
A laundry in Rome: "LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."
In a Bangkok temple: "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN."
Cocktail lounge, Norway: "LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."
Doctors office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."
Dry cleaners, Bangkok: "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."
In a Nairobi restaurant: "CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
On an Athi River highway:this is the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi. "TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."
On a poster at Kencom: "ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."
In a city restaurant: "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."
In a cemetery: "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED."
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."
In a Tokyo bar: "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."
Hotel in Yugoslavia: "THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
Hotel, Japan: "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Hotel, Zurich: "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE
BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."
In a Swiss mountain inn: "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
A laundry in Rome: "LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."
Joke: Drunk, I'm Married
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: " Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: " Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Friday, May 04, 2007
Poems: Romantic & UnRomantic
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Think & Create
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Think & Create
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Is The Smart Car Really This Crash Worthy?
I stumbled upon this video and was wondering if this little Smart car is really so crash worthy?
http://www.kgomez.com/inspiration/others/smart_car_high_speed_crash.php
-kbg-
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Dont Mess With Old Ladies...
An older lady gets pulled over by a police officer for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half! drawn
gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Internet: Good or Bad?
Internet
Have you ever wondered how your lives would be now if the Internet never existed?
For me, it would be like when I first decided to stop watching the television. I found I had so much time on my hands to invest on reading all the books that I have accumulated over the years but never got the chance to read.
But I also find that I do a lot of reading on the Internet. I frequently visit the How Stuff Works site to learn about how things work (being an engineer, these stuff interest me), play chess, read the news on Google, search Google for tons of work related information. These are things that I could never do without the Internet. The Internet has done more good for me than bad.
How has the Internet affected your life?
Have you ever wondered how your lives would be now if the Internet never existed?
For me, it would be like when I first decided to stop watching the television. I found I had so much time on my hands to invest on reading all the books that I have accumulated over the years but never got the chance to read.
But I also find that I do a lot of reading on the Internet. I frequently visit the How Stuff Works site to learn about how things work (being an engineer, these stuff interest me), play chess, read the news on Google, search Google for tons of work related information. These are things that I could never do without the Internet. The Internet has done more good for me than bad.
How has the Internet affected your life?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Maersk Emma - Currently Biggest Container Ship In The World!
See the world's largest container ship - the Maersk Emma.
At the moment it cannot enter into most parts - all loading/unloading is done midway in sea with the help of barges...
At the moment it cannot enter into most parts - all loading/unloading is done midway in sea with the help of barges...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Vitamins for the Mind
by Jim Rohn
Basics/Fundamentals
Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.
There are no new fundamentals. You've got to be a little suspicious of someone who says, "I've got a new fundamental." That's like someone inviting you to tour a factory where they are manufacturing antiques.
Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn't going to get the job done.
Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure.
Basics/Fundamentals
Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.
There are no new fundamentals. You've got to be a little suspicious of someone who says, "I've got a new fundamental." That's like someone inviting you to tour a factory where they are manufacturing antiques.
Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn't going to get the job done.
Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure.
Monday, March 26, 2007
A Most Unusual Way to Paint a Building
See how Eric changes ordinary buildings to extraordinary buildings!
http://www.kgomez.com/inspiration/others/a_most_unusual_way_to_paint_a_building.php
http://www.kgomez.com/inspiration/others/a_most_unusual_way_to_paint_a_building.php
Photographs that Changed the World
Selected photographs that changed the world...
http://www.kgomez.com/inspiration/others/photographs_that_changed_the_world.php
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