Football Club as a Nation

Arsenal - France. Still a big player on the international scene but in recent years has become the perennial bridesmaid. Enjoys the quality of life/football but is unable to really dictate matter in the larger scheme of things. Retains the ability to but perhaps there is too much emphasis on one man who seems to constantly miss the important events...

Aston Villa - Australia. Big fish in a small pond. Have enjoyed the new regime much more than the previous. Have the set up. Have the finance. Have the leader. But can they achieve the impossible?

Birmingham - New Zealand. Living in the shadows of their larger neighbour for years. Would love a relative period of stability after the turmoil of the last few years. Has an opportunity to develop to the level required.

Blackburn - South Africa. Had an all too brief moment in the sun due to it's enigmatic leader. Since his tenure have strived to regain that reputation. Under the current regime things could change. Need to embrace all aspects of the population however..

Bolton - Mongolia. Dull. Lifeless. Dwindling population. Enjoyed a period of relative prominence, largely due to the tactics of one individual. Since his departure have failed to grasp the public's eye.

Burnley - Switzerland. Harmless. Have their endearing qualities but ultimately will never gain the power they crave. Happy with their lot however and content with their leader.

Chelsea - Pakistan. Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset a large percentage of it's supporter base through its over involvement with foreigners. Striving to consolidate it's position on the world stage but finds it tough to find friends and allies. Fears of a revolt from within and financial collapse refuse to go away.

Everton - Japan. No attack, last campaign of any note 1942. Big player financially in the 1980s, however struggling a bit these days

Fulham - Italy. Strives to be a big player. Ego of it's owner could stand in it's way however. Loves the good life possibly too much due to the lifestyle of it's people. Distinct lack of firepower has been a problem for years..

Hull - Somalia. Came out of the blue to grab the headlines last year with their plundering raids on various other countries possessions. But is time running out for them or can they continue to defy the odds in the face of adversity?

Liverpool - Germany. Used to be the big player in the international arena. Have suffered for years as a result. Tendency to self destruct. A strong history but still attempting to regain that top spot. May just do that, but with foreign aid.

Man City - Palestine - A team currently looking for recognition. Had been on the periphery for many years before the late 00's. Funded by rich Arabs who are determined to prove their worth and seriousness. May be hindered by their current leader.

Man United - USA. Bullies. Arrogant and motivated by greed. Have become the foremost leader due to a combination of industry, luck and planning. Very strong ruler who loathes to admit defeat. Shows no signs of weakening despite various setbacks.

Portsmouth - Iran. Have had a summer of discontent and revolution. What the future holds for this enigma remains to be seen. Will it be a stable democracy or will they succumb to yet another tyrant? The loss of individuals to the West must be stemmed however.

Stoke - North Korea. Capable of upsetting just about anyone and don't care who. Are content with themselves and their senile leader. The development of secret weapons caught everyone off guard last year and others have begun to combat against it.

Sunderland - India. A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but with a huge supporter base. Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet is largely ignored by non fans. Local derbies can be a bit fiery.

Tottenham - Canada - Appear to suffer from delusions of grandeur. Have strived to force their way in with the big boys but have failed despite their unlimited resources. See themselves as the chosen ones and better than their neighbours but in reality suffer from an over inflated sense of self. Big promise but no substance.

West Ham - England. Unwanted leader and looking for direction. Used to be a power but way back in the day. Would love to have kept it's prized assets but outside circumstance dictated otherwise. Has the potential and keeps producing but changes need to be made.

Wigan - Israel. Still a relative upstart in the larger scheme of things. Trying to create a market for themselves in a hostile environment. Their main enemy comes outside the borders of their religion (rugby/Palestine). Still continuing due a combination of luck and astute management/leadership.

Wolves - Iraq. Years of turmoil and unrest. Could finally be on the brink of solidarity and stability. Have come on wonders in the last year but doubts still remain about it's citizens and leader. Is it all too much, too soon?