The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?' The father, surprised, answers, 'Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.' 'Onions?' 'Yes, you see them, and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, 'Mom, how many types of 'willies' are there?' The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.. In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.' 'A Christmas tree??'
'Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.'
Friday, June 13, 2008
Five Medical Symptoms Men Shouldnt Ignore
Ask doctors if their male patients ignore big and obvious health symptoms, and they'll respond with laughter -- huge peals and guffaws.
Some doctors say men are more likely than women to ignore symptoms or deny that they even exist.
Once they regain the ability to speak, these doctors will say things such as "I don't even know where to start," and "You don't have enough room in your story for all the symptoms men blow off."
Conventional wisdom, they say, is true. Women listen to their bodies and go to the doctor when something isn't right. Men tend to seek medical attention when they're at death's door -- or when their wives prod them into going.
"I think it's a macho thing," says Dr. Barron Lerner, professor of medicine and public health at Columbia University. "Or maybe it's denial. Maybe they think if they deny a problem, it doesn't exist."
"I call it the ostrich phenomenon," says Dr. Harvey Simon, associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and editor of the Harvard Men's Health Watch newsletter. "Guys are very prone to sticking their head in the sand and hoping when they emerge everything will be back to normal. It's a very, very bad idea."
While the list, according to these physicians, is endless, here are the top five symptoms men ignore -- sometimes until it's too late.
1. Chest pain
You'd think this would be the last thing a man would ignore, but our men's health experts say it happens all the time.
"They think, 'Oh, I'm just out of shape, or I'm having a little indigestion, or I'm under pressure,'" says Dr. Joseph Scherger, a clinical professor of family medicine at the University of California, San Diego. "It's quite classic for men to do that." Video Watch more from Elizabeth Cohen about men's health »
Simon says, "I tell my medical students that the most common symptoms of a heart attack is chest pain, and the second most common one is denial."
Bottom line: Anyone experiencing chest tightness, chest pain or shortness of breath needs medical attention.
2. A big belly
"Belly fat is the worst fat you can have," says Dr. Harry Fisch, a professor of clinical urology at Columbia. "A big belly is a sign a man has low testosterone levels. And the lower the testosterone, the greater the risk of diabetes and coronary artery disease."
While a woman might go on every diet in the world to lose weight, men often have a different solution: They lower their belts.
"I've had men say to me, 'See, my pants size hasn't changed.' I say, 'Baloney. Your belly is still there. It's just above your belt,' " says Simon.
3. An unenthusiastic penis
Impotence may be purely psychological, but it also could be a sign that a man has cardiovascular disease.
"The penis is the dipstick of the body's health," Fisch says.
If the arteries that supply blood to the penis aren't working right, those supplying blood to the heart and brain might not be working so well either.
Our experts advise men with erectile dysfunction to use their doctors for more than just Viagra dispensers.
"A doctor ought to be working these men up for coronary artery disease, high blood pressure and cholesterol, which are often linked to erectile dysfunction," Simon says.
4. More frequent urination
Urinating more frequently can be a sign of prostatitis, or inflammation of the prostate gland.
"I'll ask a patient if he's getting up at night to urinate, and he'll say, 'Oh, yeah, two or three times.' I ask him if that bothers him, and he'll say no. I tell him it should," Fisch says.
5. Prescription drug addiction
"Men sometimes don't realize they're addicted to prescription drugs," says Dr. Joel Heidelbaugh, a family medicine specialist at the University of Michigan Medical School. "Maybe they're taking medicine for back pain, and a couple of years later they're still on them. They can't function without them, and they don't even know it."
Heidelbaugh says he's seen patients addicted to drugs such as Vicodin and Oxycontin without knowing it. "They never realized they need to get off of them," he says.
There is one area, Heidelbaugh says, where men zip right into their physician without hesitation. "Rashes in the groin, masses in the testicles, pain in that area -- that gets them into the doctor," he says.
Scherger adds, "Men are probably more keyed in to their groins than other parts of their body. They're pretty fixated on their penis and genital area. That's where they have the least amount of denial."
Some doctors say men are more likely than women to ignore symptoms or deny that they even exist.
Once they regain the ability to speak, these doctors will say things such as "I don't even know where to start," and "You don't have enough room in your story for all the symptoms men blow off."
Conventional wisdom, they say, is true. Women listen to their bodies and go to the doctor when something isn't right. Men tend to seek medical attention when they're at death's door -- or when their wives prod them into going.
"I think it's a macho thing," says Dr. Barron Lerner, professor of medicine and public health at Columbia University. "Or maybe it's denial. Maybe they think if they deny a problem, it doesn't exist."
"I call it the ostrich phenomenon," says Dr. Harvey Simon, associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and editor of the Harvard Men's Health Watch newsletter. "Guys are very prone to sticking their head in the sand and hoping when they emerge everything will be back to normal. It's a very, very bad idea."
While the list, according to these physicians, is endless, here are the top five symptoms men ignore -- sometimes until it's too late.
1. Chest pain
You'd think this would be the last thing a man would ignore, but our men's health experts say it happens all the time.
"They think, 'Oh, I'm just out of shape, or I'm having a little indigestion, or I'm under pressure,'" says Dr. Joseph Scherger, a clinical professor of family medicine at the University of California, San Diego. "It's quite classic for men to do that." Video Watch more from Elizabeth Cohen about men's health »
Simon says, "I tell my medical students that the most common symptoms of a heart attack is chest pain, and the second most common one is denial."
Bottom line: Anyone experiencing chest tightness, chest pain or shortness of breath needs medical attention.
2. A big belly
"Belly fat is the worst fat you can have," says Dr. Harry Fisch, a professor of clinical urology at Columbia. "A big belly is a sign a man has low testosterone levels. And the lower the testosterone, the greater the risk of diabetes and coronary artery disease."
While a woman might go on every diet in the world to lose weight, men often have a different solution: They lower their belts.
"I've had men say to me, 'See, my pants size hasn't changed.' I say, 'Baloney. Your belly is still there. It's just above your belt,' " says Simon.
3. An unenthusiastic penis
Impotence may be purely psychological, but it also could be a sign that a man has cardiovascular disease.
"The penis is the dipstick of the body's health," Fisch says.
If the arteries that supply blood to the penis aren't working right, those supplying blood to the heart and brain might not be working so well either.
Our experts advise men with erectile dysfunction to use their doctors for more than just Viagra dispensers.
"A doctor ought to be working these men up for coronary artery disease, high blood pressure and cholesterol, which are often linked to erectile dysfunction," Simon says.
4. More frequent urination
Urinating more frequently can be a sign of prostatitis, or inflammation of the prostate gland.
"I'll ask a patient if he's getting up at night to urinate, and he'll say, 'Oh, yeah, two or three times.' I ask him if that bothers him, and he'll say no. I tell him it should," Fisch says.
5. Prescription drug addiction
"Men sometimes don't realize they're addicted to prescription drugs," says Dr. Joel Heidelbaugh, a family medicine specialist at the University of Michigan Medical School. "Maybe they're taking medicine for back pain, and a couple of years later they're still on them. They can't function without them, and they don't even know it."
Heidelbaugh says he's seen patients addicted to drugs such as Vicodin and Oxycontin without knowing it. "They never realized they need to get off of them," he says.
There is one area, Heidelbaugh says, where men zip right into their physician without hesitation. "Rashes in the groin, masses in the testicles, pain in that area -- that gets them into the doctor," he says.
Scherger adds, "Men are probably more keyed in to their groins than other parts of their body. They're pretty fixated on their penis and genital area. That's where they have the least amount of denial."
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Dining Manners: Business Lunch
It is quite common these days to have business lunches with your bosses or other vendors or even your potential employer. Keep this tips in mind though.
When food is ordered in to be eaten at a business meeting, the overriding rule is to keep it simple. If a knife and fork are provided, use them. However, feel free to use your fingers for foods such as pizza or sandwiches. In fact, you may be better off using your fingers than those flimsy plastic forks.
Keep the area around you clean and tidy. Use plenty of napkins or, even better, those dampened, packaged wipes. Stack the plastic mustard and ketchup wrappers. Put bones and scraps on the side of your plate, not on the table.
Keys, purses, and everything else not related to the work at hand or the meal should be off the table.
Should I Tip?
Even if you use a credit card, carry some cash for tips.
If you are a regular at a restaurant, or if you have gotten exceptional service and plan to return, tipping the maître d' is appropriate. A maître d' who provides you with a great table for a special event or oversees a smooth-running business meal should receive $10 to $20 in cash, depending on the size of your group and the complexity of your special requests.
A captain or waiter (the person who takes your order) should get five percent of the bill either in cash or specified on the bill if you use a credit card.
Your server should get at least 15 percent of your total bill, according to the level of service provided. Remember that the server usually divides your tip among the entire service team, which includes bartenders and bussers.
The sommelier should be tipped 15 percent of the wine bill if he or she performs special services (such as helping you choose the right wine for your meal).
Checkroom attendants get $1 per coat. Add another dollar for each briefcase, pair of boots, or umbrella you or your guests check
Toast
Lastly, if you're required to give a short toast, remember it has been said that toasts are like a woman's skirt. They should be long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be amusing. That usually translates into about one minute.
Enjoy!
Dining Manners
Wine
Wine will be served during a formal dinner. If you don't want wine, place your fingertips lightly on the rim of the glass when the server approaches to pour. (Never
turn your glass upside down.) Say, "I'm not having any today" (or this evening or tonight). The today sends a message: You don't disapprove of wine, and the others
should feel no compunction about enjoying their wine if they choose.
Wine is offered with the first course (soup) and will be poured from the right. Red wine (and brandy) glasses are held by the bowl because the warmth of the hand releases the bouquet. Red wine glasses may also be held by the stem, but white wine and champagne glasses are always held by the stem, so as not to diminish the chill.
Wait until your host has lifted his or her glass before you drink.
How Should I Toast?
The custom of clinking glasses was originally used to drive away evil spirits. If you want to clink, do so with the greatest care, particularly if you are using fine crystal. For the most part, it will suffice simply to raise your glass in the direction of the person being toasted. As for the toast itself, there is an old saying which you would do well to repeat to yourself if you are asked to propose a toast. "Be upstanding, be sincere, be brief, and be seated."
Wine will be served during a formal dinner. If you don't want wine, place your fingertips lightly on the rim of the glass when the server approaches to pour. (Never
turn your glass upside down.) Say, "I'm not having any today" (or this evening or tonight). The today sends a message: You don't disapprove of wine, and the others
should feel no compunction about enjoying their wine if they choose.
Wine is offered with the first course (soup) and will be poured from the right. Red wine (and brandy) glasses are held by the bowl because the warmth of the hand releases the bouquet. Red wine glasses may also be held by the stem, but white wine and champagne glasses are always held by the stem, so as not to diminish the chill.
Wait until your host has lifted his or her glass before you drink.
How Should I Toast?
The custom of clinking glasses was originally used to drive away evil spirits. If you want to clink, do so with the greatest care, particularly if you are using fine crystal. For the most part, it will suffice simply to raise your glass in the direction of the person being toasted. As for the toast itself, there is an old saying which you would do well to repeat to yourself if you are asked to propose a toast. "Be upstanding, be sincere, be brief, and be seated."
What Love Means to a 4-8 year old . . .
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
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"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
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"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
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"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
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"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
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"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
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"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
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"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
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"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
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"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
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"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
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"My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
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"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
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"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
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"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
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And the final one --
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
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When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.
Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.
Heavenly Father, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Video: How To Cook Egg With Your PC.
A perfect example of what computer scientist call "multi-tasking"
Proper Dining Manners
Yesterday night, my wife and I had dinner with an old friend who's been residing in London ever since we left school together 18 years ago. As expected, his wife and he had a slang when they speak, and some very polished table manners, as compared to ours. I asked him how he learned his table manners as he never had such manners when he was in school. He gave me an old, folded piece of paper which had the following 10 rules:
l. Cutlery. Don't hold your fork like a cello or your knife like Lady Macbeth's dagger. Also, don't wave your cutlery triumphantly in the air to emphasize a point
and don't put silverware partly on the table and partly on the plate. After you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again. Knives go on the plate, blade facing in and touching the inside of the plate. Only the handle should rest on the rim of the plate.
2. Napkins. Don't blot or rub the lower half of your face. Dab delicately. Don't flap your napkin to unfold it and don't wave it around like a flag. It belongs unfolded
on your lap. If you leave the table, place your napkin on the chair and push the chair back under the table. Gently. Watch the upholstery. Don't refold your napkin at the end of the meal because an unknowing server might give it to another diner. Pick up the napkin from the center and place it loosely on the table to the left of your plate.
3. Chewing. Never chew with your mouth open. Also, no matter how urgently you want to inject the perfect kernel of wit and wisdom at just the right moment, don't do it with food in your mouth. And don't gulp and blurt. Finish chewing, swallow, and smile philosophically, content in the knowledge that you could have said just the right thing, but had too much class to speak with food in your mouth.
4. Appearance. Remember what your mother said: Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table. If you have any doubt about where your hands belong, put
them in your lap.
5. Breaking bread. Here is a real bread-and-butter tip. Tear bread into bite-size pieces and butter each piece just before you eat it. Don't butter the entire slice
of bread or the entire roll to get it ready for occasional bites during the course of the meal.
6. Speed. Take it easy. Whether you're at the Ritz Carlton or Gertie's Grease Pit, gulping down food is not only unhealthy but also unattractive, and it can cross
the line into rudeness when dining with others. Dining partners should have the same number of courses and start and finish each one at about the same time. Don't be huddling over your soup while others are salivating for dessert or vice versa.
7. Don't pick! If you have something trapped between your teeth, don't pick at it while you are at the table. If it's really driving you nuts, excuse yourself, go to
the restroom, and pick to your heart's content.
8. Lipstick etiquette. Leaving a lipstick trail behind on stemware and flatware is bad form, especially at a business meal. If you apply lipstick in the restaurant
and don't have a blotting tissue with you, make a detour to the restroom or nab a cocktail napkin from the bar on your way to the table.
9. Smoking. Even if you're sitting in the smoking section of the restaurant, you should never light up between courses. It affects your dining partners' taste buds
and is a jarring note during any meal. Wait until the meal is over and, even then, ask if anyone minds if you smoke. If anyone does object, offer to wait or to smoke at the bar. And, please, never use a plate as an ashtray.
10. Purses and briefcases. Keep them off the table. And this rule goes for keys, hats, gloves, eyeglasses, eyeglass cases, and cigarette packs. In short, if it isn't part of the meal, it shouldn't be on the table.
l. Cutlery. Don't hold your fork like a cello or your knife like Lady Macbeth's dagger. Also, don't wave your cutlery triumphantly in the air to emphasize a point
and don't put silverware partly on the table and partly on the plate. After you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again. Knives go on the plate, blade facing in and touching the inside of the plate. Only the handle should rest on the rim of the plate.
2. Napkins. Don't blot or rub the lower half of your face. Dab delicately. Don't flap your napkin to unfold it and don't wave it around like a flag. It belongs unfolded
on your lap. If you leave the table, place your napkin on the chair and push the chair back under the table. Gently. Watch the upholstery. Don't refold your napkin at the end of the meal because an unknowing server might give it to another diner. Pick up the napkin from the center and place it loosely on the table to the left of your plate.
3. Chewing. Never chew with your mouth open. Also, no matter how urgently you want to inject the perfect kernel of wit and wisdom at just the right moment, don't do it with food in your mouth. And don't gulp and blurt. Finish chewing, swallow, and smile philosophically, content in the knowledge that you could have said just the right thing, but had too much class to speak with food in your mouth.
4. Appearance. Remember what your mother said: Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table. If you have any doubt about where your hands belong, put
them in your lap.
5. Breaking bread. Here is a real bread-and-butter tip. Tear bread into bite-size pieces and butter each piece just before you eat it. Don't butter the entire slice
of bread or the entire roll to get it ready for occasional bites during the course of the meal.
6. Speed. Take it easy. Whether you're at the Ritz Carlton or Gertie's Grease Pit, gulping down food is not only unhealthy but also unattractive, and it can cross
the line into rudeness when dining with others. Dining partners should have the same number of courses and start and finish each one at about the same time. Don't be huddling over your soup while others are salivating for dessert or vice versa.
7. Don't pick! If you have something trapped between your teeth, don't pick at it while you are at the table. If it's really driving you nuts, excuse yourself, go to
the restroom, and pick to your heart's content.
8. Lipstick etiquette. Leaving a lipstick trail behind on stemware and flatware is bad form, especially at a business meal. If you apply lipstick in the restaurant
and don't have a blotting tissue with you, make a detour to the restroom or nab a cocktail napkin from the bar on your way to the table.
9. Smoking. Even if you're sitting in the smoking section of the restaurant, you should never light up between courses. It affects your dining partners' taste buds
and is a jarring note during any meal. Wait until the meal is over and, even then, ask if anyone minds if you smoke. If anyone does object, offer to wait or to smoke at the bar. And, please, never use a plate as an ashtray.
10. Purses and briefcases. Keep them off the table. And this rule goes for keys, hats, gloves, eyeglasses, eyeglass cases, and cigarette packs. In short, if it isn't part of the meal, it shouldn't be on the table.
Monday, June 02, 2008
What are Hiccups, and How Do You Get Rid of Them?
Doctors are known for using complicated words that make them sound either extremely intelligent or really out of touch with what most people can understand. The medical word for hiccups, singultus, is a perfect example of when physicians sound ridiculous.
Hiccups are caused when the diaphragm becomes irritated and pushes air rapidly up in such a way that it makes an irregular sound.
Some things that irritate the diaphragm and cause hiccups are distention of the stomach from food, alcohol, or air, sudden changes in gastric temperature, or use of alcohol and/or tobacco in excess. Hiccups also can be caused by excitement or stress.
While most cases of the hiccups last only a few minutes, some cases of the hiccups can last for days or weeks. This is very unusual, though, and it's usually a sign of another medical problem, such as injections near the diaphragm, hiatal hernias, severe gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), or a tumor irritating the nerves in the chest. Hiccups lasting longer than one month are termed intractable or incurable. The longest recorded attack of hiccups is six decades.
Doctors sometimes use the antipsychotic drug Thorazine to treat intractable hiccups.
If you don't want to go the antipsychotic route, you could try one of these simpler but unproven cures:
1. Breathing into a paper bag.
2. Drinking out of a cup from the side opposite your mouth.
3. Holding your breath.
4. Eating a teaspoon of sugar.
5. Sucking on a wedge of lime or lemon.
6. Drinking a glass of water with a straw while you plug your ears with your fingers.
7. Pulling the top of your hair for one to two minutes.
8. Placing a cotton swab in the roof of your mouth and gently rubbing.
9. Pulling hard on your tongue.
If You Get Bitten By a Snake,Should You Suck Out the Venom?
I love a good Western and nothing could be more bad-ass than biting into a snake wound and spitting out the venom. Of course this would be followed by some whiskey and a good gunfight.
Unfortunately, this is no longer an accepted practice. Sucking at a snakebite is not only ineffective but could lead to an infection at the wound site.
According to the American Red Cross, these steps should be taken after a snakebite:
1. Wash the bite with soap and water.
2. Immobilize the bitten area and keep it lower than the heart.
3. Get medical help.
Toxicology experts might also suggest applying a tourniquet loosely above the bite to prevent the venom from spreading. This must be done with caution, as the tourniquet itself can cause problems if it cuts off the blood flow entirely.
The person then needs to be transported rapidly to an emergency room. Antivenom is available for a variety of different snakes. Other treatments include antibiotics and surgery.
Of the estimated one hundred and twenty different types of snakes found in the United States, about twenty are poisonous. Most bites occur in the southwestern part of the nation, but they even occur in New York City. In New York State there are three species of poisonous snakes, the timber rattlesnake, the massasauga rattlesnake, and the copperhead. In the city, however, most bites occur from snakes that are kept as pets.
Does Breast Milk Cure Warts?
Here's one from the June 2004 New England Journal of Medicine .
A cream containing an ingredient of human breast milk appears to be an effective treatment for stubborn warts. The key ingredient of the cream is a compound called alpha-lactalbumin-oleic acid. Its Swedish creators have nicknamed the cream HAMLET, for Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells.
This may lead to other areas of research as certain types of warts or human papilloma virus (HPV) can be linked to cervical cancer.
No word yet on whether Starbucks will be introducing a tall-decaf-breast latte.
Why is it Bad to Insert Cotton Swabs into Your Ears?
Oh the pleasure of the forbidden! Those things that you are not supposed to do are always so enticing.
The ears, for the most part, do not require any routine cleaning. Ears are like a self cleaning oven. With the help of gravity and body heat, earwax will gradually find its way out. If wax appears on the outer ear, a cotton swab may be used. If you can't help but go in farther, you are risking wax impaction or injury. If you do get wax impacted in your ear, you will be in pain and half deaf. There are over-the-counter preparations that can help relieve waxblockage but warm water in a syringe often works. As a last resort you can see an ear doctor or come to the ER for a good cleaning.
It is not uncommon for us to see patients who have violated these rules and come to see us to remove the tip of the cotton swab that has fallen off inside the ear. Don't worry, we are prepared. We also remove other things like cockroaches, beads, and pen caps, all of which we've pulled out of ears.
Does Urinating On a Jellyfish Sting Help The Burn?
We all saw that Friends episode (c'mon, you watch it, too) when Monica gets stung by a jellyfish. Joey remembers that peeing on a jellyfish sting takes the pain away, Monica "can't bend that way," and Joey gets "stage fright," leaving Chandler to save the day. Don't believe everything you see on TV.
Most jellyfish stings cause only pain and numbness. The Australian box jellyfish is the most venomous and deadly of all stinging marine creatures. Approximately 20 percent of those stung by the box jellyfish will die. Portuguese man-of-war is also dangerous but nothing
compared to the box jellyfish.
The following guideline can be applied to most jellyfish stings:
The patient should remove any visible tentacles, using gloves if possible. The area of the sting should be rinsed with household vinegar. The acetic acid of the vinegar can block discharge of the remaining nematocysts (stinging cells) on the skin and should be applied liberally. If vinegar is not available, salt water can be used to wash off the nematocysts.
In laboratory tests, urine, ammonia, and alcohol can cause active stinging cells to fire, which means applying them has the potential to make a minor sting worse, so urinating on a jellyfish sting is both gross and painful.
Most jellyfish stings cause only pain and numbness. The Australian box jellyfish is the most venomous and deadly of all stinging marine creatures. Approximately 20 percent of those stung by the box jellyfish will die. Portuguese man-of-war is also dangerous but nothing
compared to the box jellyfish.
The following guideline can be applied to most jellyfish stings:
The patient should remove any visible tentacles, using gloves if possible. The area of the sting should be rinsed with household vinegar. The acetic acid of the vinegar can block discharge of the remaining nematocysts (stinging cells) on the skin and should be applied liberally. If vinegar is not available, salt water can be used to wash off the nematocysts.
In laboratory tests, urine, ammonia, and alcohol can cause active stinging cells to fire, which means applying them has the potential to make a minor sting worse, so urinating on a jellyfish sting is both gross and painful.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Is It Dangerous To Pop Zits?
In an unrelated but truly bizarre story, one night I was working in the ER and a patient came in with a bandage over her jaw. I asked her what happened and she was very timid in responding. She said she was embarrassed because she had picked her face over and over, which had caused an infection. I tried to calm her, told her that this was common, and asked her if I could take a look. When she removed her bandage, she revealed a 4 by 4-inch hole all the way down to her jawbone. She received some antibiotics and a careful psychiatric evaluation and at no point did anyone say, "Didn't your mother tell you not to pick at your face?"
As for zit popping, it definitely can lead to some complications. Squeezing pimples can actually push the zit-causing bacteria farther into the skin, causing more redness and swelling. It is also the most common cause of acne scarring. There is one more deadly complication from zit popping, which is called cavernous sinus thrombosis, a blood clot in the sinus cavity that runs between the sphenoid bone, the large bone at the base of the skull, and temporal bone located near the temple. The real danger zone for zit popping is an area that some people refer to as the triangle of death, an area stretching from the bridge of the nose to the corner of the mouth to the width of the jaw. The veins in this area drain into the cavernous sinus and any severe infection in this area can cause cavernous sinus thrombosis. Squeezing zits in this part of your face can cause an infection and start this dangerous process.
As for zit popping, it definitely can lead to some complications. Squeezing pimples can actually push the zit-causing bacteria farther into the skin, causing more redness and swelling. It is also the most common cause of acne scarring. There is one more deadly complication from zit popping, which is called cavernous sinus thrombosis, a blood clot in the sinus cavity that runs between the sphenoid bone, the large bone at the base of the skull, and temporal bone located near the temple. The real danger zone for zit popping is an area that some people refer to as the triangle of death, an area stretching from the bridge of the nose to the corner of the mouth to the width of the jaw. The veins in this area drain into the cavernous sinus and any severe infection in this area can cause cavernous sinus thrombosis. Squeezing zits in this part of your face can cause an infection and start this dangerous process.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Is It Smart to Put Butter on a Bun?
No. Save the butter for breakfast.
Butter is the wrong thing to put on a burn. It will trap the heat in the skin and prolong the pain. Use cool water instead.
I do have to say that there are some kitchen supplies that may be useful for the pain of a burn, straight from the medical literature in India: boiled potato skins and honey.
Why honey? Honey is sometimes used for its antibacterial effects. Boiled potato skins may seem to be an unusual treatment, but they maintain a moist environment.
The best thing to do when you grab a hot pan is to cool your burn under running water, and only after it has thoroughly cooled, apply an antibiotic ointment. For severe burns you should go to your local ER.
What Is a Hickey?
A hickey is a bruise that forms when a person sucks and lightly bites an area on another person’s body, causing the blood vessels under the skin to break. It is also a badge of honor for horny fifteen-year-olds all around the world.
Can a Women Ejaculate?
There have been many claims about female ejaculation, but this was always dismissed as urination during intercourse.
More recent evidence has found that higher levels of a compound, prostatic acid phosphatase, has been found in patients who claim to have female ejaculation. This compound is also found in high levels in male ejaculate and originates in the
prostate.
Researchers have taken an anatomic approach to the issue of prostatelike components in female ejaculate. They believe that if women ejaculate a fluid that is not urine, then it must be coming from someplace other than the bladder. The most likely source was thought to be the female paraurethral glands or Skene’s glands. Autopsy tests of Skene’s glands have found substances identical to those found in the prostate. Some experts now call these glands the female prostate.
So, it seems highly likely that some women can, in fact, ejaculate, but causing that to happen may be as tough as finding the G-spot.
Are There Specific Things That Affect The Scent of a Women?
My wife’s “friend” once told her that eating pineapple made you smell good “down there.” The friend had heard this from a call girl. It doesn’t get more evidence based than that.
There is, however, no scientific research on this sensitive subject. People do believe that you are what you eat, so what you ingest, ladies, can affect the smell and taste of your womanly secretions. Foods that are often mentioned as having the potential to cause problems “down there” are asparagus, garlic, and curry.
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