Who's Your Limo Driver?

Archbishop Murphy Pakiam (the Catholic Archbishop of Malaysia) was returning to Kuala Lumpur after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived, there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Bukit Nanas. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know" he said, "I am almost 50 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?" The driver said, "No problem. Have a go at it."

Archbishop Pakiam gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie Traffic Police operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 140 in a 110 km/h zone. The police office pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young officer walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor.

He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."

The supervisor asked, "Is it the Prime Minister?"

The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."

The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the King?"

The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."

The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"

The young trooper said, I think it's Jesus because he's got Archbishop Murphy Pakiam for a chauffeur!!

Effective Diet Quote...

I have a great diet. 

You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.

- Ed Bluestone

The Bridge in the Middle

The bridge connecting the left and right tower of the Petronas Twin Towers. This was the closest my little, but faithful Sony TX7 could get to this structure.

What distinguishes a Grandmaster from a master?

 

"What distinguishes a Grandmaster from a master? Chess-lovers often ask questions like that. To many people it seems that Grandmasters simply calculate variations a little deeper. Or that they know their opening theory slightly better. But in fact the real difference is something else. You can pick out two essential qualities in which those with higher titles are superior to others: the ability to sense the critical moment in a game, and a finer understanding of various positional problems."

— Yusupov, in Opening Preparation

Like I've Been Talking to a Wall

 

The following story was mentioned by a seasoned ANSYS user when explaining a concept, for the third time, to a new comer. It's simply amazing how you find engineers who cant explain their problem properly when asking for help in forums? Sometimes the act of simply writing down clearly ones problem is enough to provide an insight to its solutions. And a simple Free Body Diagram (FBD) helps. But I come across a lot of engineers who dont bother to Read The Fucking Manual (RTFM) but jump onto the forums to ask for help. What ever happened to the age old belief of doing one's homework before asking for help?

 

 

A tourist was visiting Jerusalem and found himself near the Western Wall, crowded with people saying prayers. The guide pointed to an old man standing with his forehead against the stonework, praying aloud for peace between Israelis and Palestinians. 'You see that old man?  

I've been a guide here for 25 years, and every single day of that time he's been here praying for one thing--peace. Nothing for himself, no victory, no taking sides, just that the shooting should stop.'

 

Eventually the old man ended his prayers and began to walk away, so the tourist stepped up and asked whether it was true that he'd prayed here daily all that time for nothing but peace. The old man just nodded, so the tourist asked him, 'How does it feel after all these years of prayer and the guns still firing?' The old man looked up and replied 'How does it feel? Oy, like I've been talking to a wall!'

 

 

 

 

Humour

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:
'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

How O'Malley got into the 2012 London Olympics

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they
haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and
walks to the gate.

"McTavish, Scotland," he says, "Discus" and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.

"Waddington-Smith , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks
it under his arm.

"O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."

Humour

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

Wednesday Night Chess

This is my battle ground every Wednesday night at Woodvale. 

Last night I had an easy win when my opponent didnt turn up.

How the Northern Lights Look From Space

We're used to seeing the Northern lights from below. But this is how it looks from space. Simply beautiful isn't it.

Our planet is a beautiful creation. Too bad most of us are so preoccupied with eking a living that we fail to see the beauty of Mother Nature.

See more pictures here.

Cannabilism

 

If this world was about canabilism, then I would be the sexiest man alive!

 

 

Breaking News: Ferrari Sack Pit Crew

 

 

 

 

Your World...

This is your world,
Shape it,
Or someone else will.

The End of the DVD is Here...

 

 

When was the last time you pushed a DVD into your desktop or laptop?

 

Neither can I. I now download my softwares from the Internet and copy them to my external hard disk over a USB port.

 

Which is why Apple is now selling its machines without DVD players/burners. Remember, Apple was the first to kill the floppy hard drive. And now they have nailed the last nail into the life of the DVD recordable media.

 

Read the whole story here.

 

 

 

Gmail Attachment Error in IE

This is what happens when one uses Internet Explorer 9 on a 64-bit Windows 7. Where on earth did fakepath come from?

Over the Board

Playing chess on the Internet is totally different from playing chess over the board. When playing on the Internet, no one cares how you're dressed or what exactly you're doing behind the keyboard or who you really are.

But playing over the board is a whole new experience for me. Just this year, I started playing chess in Perth and it was an eye opener. I first started out playing without the clock, so my opponent and I made fast moves and just like playing over the Internet, I was able to beat him.

And then I enrolled in my first tournament. And lo and behold, my first opponent was someone I had beaten in the previous week. I was confident. In a rated chess game, each player had 90 minutes or one and a half hours to make his move. So in total, the game could go up to 3 hours.

Like I said, I was confident. The game started well, and I had a good setup. But playing with a clock was different for me. My opponent had lots of time to ponder about his next move and that idle time made me restless and I started to play some risky moves. Which, on hind-sight, was the stupidest thing to do since these are all seasoned chess exponents. After a hard fought middle game battle where my Bishops dove to the rescue of my Knights and his Castles came in for support, my opponent ended with a pawn advantage which he held on for dear life. I tried to win back the pawn in the next 30 moves but alas, my worth opponent held on to it and was headed for a Queen. I had to resign. I didn't need any more harassing from a lady on the board.

I lost the next game too because of impatience. But managed to win the next two games because I have reined in my enthusiasm and I now try very hard to focus the entire 90 minutes on all the possible variations I, and my worth opponent, can make.

Another 3 more rounds await me in my first chess tournament.

Diabetic Plant?

My wife puts sugar for my flowers. No wonder my plants have diabetes!

Work Place Humour

Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed several entries stating the problem was PICNIC.

 

I asked one of the technicians what PICNIC meant. He laughed as he told me it meant "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer."

 

 

 

 

Speed Chess

How's this for speed chess?

AirAsia moves HQ from KL to Jakarta

In a surprising move, AirAsia has moved the Headquarters from Kuala Lumpur to Jakarta. With their group chief, Tony Fernandes even reportedly having bought a house in Jakarta.

I guess Mr. Fernandes finally got fed-up with the treatment he and his company gets from Malaysia Airlines and Malaysian Airports. After all, for most passengers flying into Malaysia via LCCT, the airport is a shocker and many wonder if Malaysia is indeed a 3rd World Country.

But Mr. Fernandes seems blinded to how his customers view Malaysia through the LCCT airport as his main concern is his planes. And with AirAsia HQ now moving to Jakarta, there goes any hope of Malaysians seeing a better LCCT terminal in the future.

Read the whole story on Malaysiakini.