How to Open Two Instances of Microsoft Excel 2010

If you're working with Office 2010, you'll quickly find out that you can open two Microsoft Word documents and compare them side by side.

But with Microsoft Excel, it's different. This is because Excel uses a single window method of arranging multiple documents.

The simple way I found to have two Excel documents open to compare is to go and click Start - Program Files - Microsoft Office - Excel to start up another instance of Excel. And then use the File - Open to open the Excel file that you wanted to compare side by side with.

Two software with two different behaviours. Enjoy.

How to Remove All the Stupid People in the World

I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world,  I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself.

Newly Weds

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan , India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Benefits of Going Late to Work

The benefits of going late to work - you miss an actual fire evacuation.

I Got a Lollipop...

...today for my flu vaccination.

Mr. Holland Opus

Last night my wife and I caught an old classic, Mr. Holland Opus on Foxtel HD. Although it was supposed to be shown in HD, I dont think it was. I wanted my wife to watch it since she never had. And we stayed up from midnight to 3.30 in the morning enjoying this beautiful film.

If you havent seen this picture, you should. Mr. Holland Opus was released in 1995. But yet its still one of the better films you'll ever watch. It's around 180 minutes viewing time but its a lovely show.

The story is a video biography of a music teacher for 30 years. What begun as career so that he can have some free time to compose music in the evening became a full time career. Ask any teacher and they will concur. A teacher is on duty 24/7. And thus, his dream of composing music was put on a back burner for 30 years when the school he was teaching in finally decided to can the music department because of budget cuts.

After 30 years of blood, sweat and tears, Mr. Holland Opus reluctantly retires. And while he mulls on his lost dream, he is gently reminded by his students that his dream lives on in everyone one of them. Watch the video below. This is the final scene in the movie when Mr. Holland Opus leaves the school for the last time.

Sacred Heart Church

This is the Sacred Heart Church in Highgate, Perth.

It's a magnificently old church located right in the heart of the city. Just look at the wooden ceiling - simply a magnificent piece of building.

I think the church has an Italian influence as many of the parishioners are Italians. This church is unique in the sense that it has a Blessed Sacrament room that is open 24/7.

Osama Bin Laden Dead.

Osama bin Laden dead?

President Obama to make statement soon. Read full story at ABC.

Body Language

A woman gets on a city bus.

She looks at the driver and holds up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.

Next, the woman points up; the driver points down.

Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.

Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.

A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.  The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me
if a bus ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents. Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was going downtown.

Then, she asked if the bus was going past the dairy, and I told her it was going past the ballpark..."

The passenger interjected, "Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she left the bus?"

The driver continued, She replied "Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!"

Flowers

 

 

 

 

One thing's for sure. I have learned to appreciate flowers ever since I came to Perth. Why? Because the house I am renting has a huge garden. And its no easy task taking care of a garden.

So I am slightly impressed when I see neat lawns and tidy gardens these days. 

My parents would burst out laughing if they ever hear me speak like this. I hated gardening when I was back home in Malaysia. Gardening was for old retirees, I used to tell them. And look at me now.

God has a funny way of running this world.

By the way, these flowers are those of he Holy Family Catholic church in Como.

A Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers....

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls..

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take time to get medical checkups.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.....

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented..

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

Introduction to Richard Feynman

I stumbled unto Richard Feynman when I skipped school one day when I doing my Form 6 in Maxwell and headed to the British Council library to look for a book on Physics. I stumbled upon his book, Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! (Adventures of a Curious Character) (See all Biographies & Memoirs of Scientists) and was hooked on him ever since. I didnt know then that he was a genius. I have never met a genius. I have met smart people, everyone I know is smarter than me but this was a genius. Genius see things most people dont. This is Richard Feynman.



The videos below is Feynman's take on being able to understand all he hard stuff of physics...



Lastly, take the world from another point of view...its all about seeing the world from a new perspective.

A Trip Down South to Margaret River

It was the long Easter break and my wife and I decided to take our car for a spin down south to the famous region of Margaret River and Augusta. The ride there was as long as going from KL to Penang. But it was a lovely ride. Margaret River is a wonderful region. Here are some more pictures: http://www.kgomez.com/interesting/australia/margaret_river.php



 

Good Friday Procession Around Como

The Good Friday procession around the Holy Family Church in Como.




The procession was from 9 am to half past 10 this morning, followed by scones and coffee in the church. Reconciliation services were also provided by two priest in the church.

The 14 stations were spread out around the housing estate around the Holy Family Catholic church. Since it was a long weekend holiday, the roads were pretty much deserted. It was a very good turn out.

Even the little ones came for the procession. There were lots of children. It's nice to see the young ones attending mass. But will there still be there 20 years from now?

The procession ended back at the church where Father Aloysious ended the celebration by offering hot scones and coffee to all those who has fasted since morning.

Good Friday mass will be celebrated later at 3 pm today.

All the Priest in Western Australia

I never knew Western Australia has so many priest until I saw them at the Chrism mass last night at St. Mary's Cathedral.

This was their exit out of church at the end of the mass.

These are the men who gave up their dreams to follow Christ. My wife was telling me that instead of them going home to their own families, their out there ministering to the world, come rain or shine or snow.

Appreciate your priest.

Good Drivers Just Drive

Good drivers just drive.
Always, always pay attention on the road.

What To Do When You Find a Kid Lost in a Mall (or anywhere)?

These days, with all the kidnappings and lack of trust among people, its safe to practice the following when you find a missing child.

When you find the child, find the closest establishment and call the police from that place, and wait for the police to come.

Do not attempt to take the child to the police station by yourself. Even if you find the child in a crowded shopping mall, go to the nearest shop and ask them to call the mall security to the shop premise. It is safer this way than for someone to see you holding the child's hand and walking in the mall. In current times, no amount of explanation seems to satisfy others that you mean well.

So, for your own safety, it pays to be safe when helping others. There is no point in jeopardizing our own safety and well being when all we have is good intentions.

And the child, being young, cannot defend your actions. Children will believe whatever their parents say.

Are Women Really Smart?

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story:

Women are clever.

Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the story for you. Stop right here...right now...and continue feeling good about yourself.
Male readers: Please scroll down.









The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife






Moral of the story :

 Women are not really smart, they just think they are.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show...!

Australia's Smartest Women

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one.  The world needs me, I can't afford to die."  So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Austarlian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die."  She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ."  So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could.  I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President.  There's a parachute left for you.   Australia 's smartest woman took my schoolbag."

Brains of Britain

I got this from a good friend in the UK and these are real, for sure.



UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you




BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester




BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm

Stewart White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.

Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?



LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.




THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.



BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?




UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?



GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.




PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER)

Phil: What's 11 squared?

Contestant: I don't know.

Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?



RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump.




RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. ... ..

Richard: He makes bread . . .

Contestant: Er .. .....

Richard: He makes cakes . . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?




LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .




NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question: What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.




ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?




THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?




JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?




CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller: Japan.

Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er ........ Mexico ?




PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.




DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)  It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant: No.




PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er... .... ..

Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant: Blimey?

Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant: (Silence)

Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant: Walked?




THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.




LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant: Jewish.

Presenter: That's close enough.




STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.